Pretending that everything is right to make it better.

tell me something sweet to get me by.

2011-06-22T19:15:00.003+08:00

im starting to hate 2011.

my childhood is ending.

my early teenage life is going to die any time soon.

im going turn 20 in 2 years time.

im not prepared for this shit.

everything is going too fast.

i need a break.

haters gon hate.

2011-03-26T01:25:00.000+08:00

oh my god, this blog is so dusty. how long have i not updated this blog? aaahhhh
felt like ages. lulz. anyone still using blogger? i think its dying. noooo!

alright then, so the topic for today: spoilers.

so i kinda posted a mini spoiler regarding wade barrett's victory over kofi kingston and winning the ic title. what kind of mini spoiler you might ask? well, its just the gifs i made for my babygirl, twyla. obviously, it was for her. naw mean? so at first, i was being considerate by placing the read more tag just before the gifs. then, i posted them and i thought, 'hey, why dont i check my blog to see if it appears?' so it didnt. what do i do? i removed them. yeah, i remove the read more section. then next thing i knew, BOOM!, FUCKING FANGIRLS STARTED TO REBLOG IT AND FUCKING CREATED A SCENE. fangirls. smh. well, im sorry i spoiled it for you. geez.

i need to take a breather from this. this is just ridiculous. get a grip, will ya? if you dont like it, dont look and scroll pass it. it really irks me to read one of your fucking comments saying like 'how does it feels like to have someone telling you the spoiler of the movie you are waiting to see?' bitch please, i'll be grateful to that person. dont you read movie reviews? arent they spoilers too? they actually tell you whether the movie is great or not. they gave you hints and what not. so dont tell me all these shit cause your argument is invalid. just fucking no.

SPOILERS ARE EVERYWHERE AND YOU JUST KNEW ABOUT IT? WELCOME TO THE MOTHERFUCKING INTERNET! muahahahha *insert youmustbenew.jpg*

oh and to all those fangirls marking out at first by reblogging/liking my gifs and some other girl's photoset and then, bashing at them is just utter ridiculous. its pure stupidity. dont you see that by reblogging them, you actually, in a way, spoil it to your followers too? geez. i didnt know people like you can be so dumb. oh look at the motherfucking irony. and suddenly, some bitch said that i shouldnt spoil it. bitch please. majority of you who talk shit about my post dont even follow me. funny isnt it? like cmon. we dont even know one another. next time, read before bashing someone because i have a better comeback than you do.

whoop de fucking do. i shall hunt for more haters. muahahhaa.

i must be out of my mind.

2010-10-03T23:20:00.003+08:00

as usual, i've been revising my sciences lately. so much for my mundane life huh? yup. besides, i havent touched my maths at all. somebody please hit me.

anyways, i cant wait for olevels to be over (again). cause firstly, i need to shop besides the prom which will not actually happen. and of course secondly, work. i know i have lots of cash but seriously, with the amount of items im going to buy, its not enough. obviously, some of the items will be done online and that, i have to think of the shipping. so during my free time/break, i've placed items in my cart on various sites. im almost done with HT and HMV stuffs. i just need time to view Pride Clothing. i swear, this is the hardest i've ever done in my entire life; choosing clothes.

ah FTS. i've already chosen 28 items from 2sites and stores. someone please knock some sense into me. thank you. and i almost forgot, im digging the 'new' layout. ok not really. its just a mistake i made but idgaf about it cause im too lazy to fix it and to find a new layout, let alone making one.

loving the new songs lately?

chicken techno.

2010-09-19T21:35:00.001+08:00

is it just me or does mike shinoda totally looks like jorel decker?
MINDFUCKED!

pointless post. ok goodbye all.

its open like a whore's vagina.

2010-09-16T22:47:00.002+08:00

yup, i've unlocked my blog due to my absence in blogging lately. the reason being: busy and more busy. so enjoy my couple of posts before i decided to lock it again.

goodbye.

im tryna cut you wanna make love, make love.

2010-09-16T22:19:00.004+08:00

HELLO BLOG. its been a long ass time since i've actually written an entry here. yes, i've been busy with school and other issues in life (which i shall not explain.). oh and not forgetting, tumblr. hahaha paradise. so school's gonna end and im gonna graduate (again.). and soon, its O's all over again. yay me! ah fuck it. no longer do i give two shits about it. i've lost all motivation already. all my inspiration are well poured onto my typography skills. what the hell was i thinking anyway?

and right now, i've lost my flair in writing. great. thats it. im going back to tumblr.

oh yay! celebration time. =.=

2010-09-10T22:50:00.000+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA PEOPLE!

sorry for the lack of enthusiasm. theres nothing to celebrate anyways. i dont like today cause firstly, im jealous of people having families. you know, first day, people visit them. i dont have family. the only family; i have are my parents. but then, i've grown to get used to it. whats the point getting sad all day when its gonna be the same thing every year? so all i did today was sleep and watch tv. for one whole fucking day. there were times when im super pissed when i saw people visiting their relatives and wearing the same colour clothes. but IDGAF. its all good. im fine staying at home, eating good food while showing in money.

i lived a good life. :,D

saw 3? wait, its real.

2010-09-08T18:30:00.000+08:00

today, i saw the aftermath of a suicide. to be honest, the sight wasnt pretty. in fact, it was horrifying. the image is still crystal clear in my mind. seriously. the lifeless body with blood spewing around the walls of the apartment block; the lift landing staircase especially. the bones sticking out of the body in various areas. not forgetting the head. omg, how do i even describe it? the brain. that whole chunk of brain was separated from the head itself. worse thing, the police havent covered up that section yet. the head. THE HEAD! OF ALL THINGS. THEY FORGOT TO COVER THE HEAD! DFEIJUKHGTKUIIYNVIUCB THEY CAN COVER THE BODY, YET THEY FORGOT THE FUCKING HEAD AND HER BRAIN. YES, ITS A LADY WHO JUMPED DOWN HEAD FIRST.

at first, i didnt know it was a suicide after hearing a loud thud. but then, came the police, a crowd of people and the police line. suicide isnt funny. i dont even think i have any appetite to eat later on.

brb, im shoving my insides down my throat or maybe not. im gonna puke.

now, thats deep.

2010-08-12T20:47:00.003+08:00

Let’s face it, who in this world wants to fail? No one. Not even the insects, animals and other living things in this world. They all want to succeed. They all want to achieve success. They all want to feel what it’s like to be at the top of their game. But sometimes, at some point in their lives, they will have to smell failure. Some could be a drastic one; others may make a small impact in their lives. Either way, they knew what it feels like to fail at something.

Failure, the word that many people despise, to others, it’s nothing. They have seen that particular word too many times until they forgot how it feels like to fail. Probably, these people have given up and they don’t wish to be helped anymore. They don’t want to trouble others. They just want to carry their own burden alone.

Personally, for me, I have been through a lot of failures in my life. Most of them have made a great impact on me and some had left a permanent scar on my mental self. I try to refrain myself from doing any self-inflicted injuries. However, when the pain is just too hard for me to take it, I hurt myself. I admit, this is one of the dumbest things a person can do to himself. But at desperate times, you just have no control over your body. Your mind misinterprets things and your heart decided to be against you. And sometimes, suicide feels like the simplest way to solve any problem. Why? Because your life just ended in an instant and you don’t have to think about all the stressful issues that have been bothering your soul. It seems like a perfect thing to do but think again. How would your loved ones feel? Do you ever think about their reactions when they found out that you committed suicide just because you cannot take it anymore?

I do admit that I suffer from depression and at some point in time; I wanted to end my own life. However, I did not seek any professional help. Mainly, because I do not want my parents to know about my condition and also, I tend to keep matters to myself. Eventually, I will take it out on someone. It can be very frustrating and annoying. But the good thing is, I didn’t take my own life. What if the future holds something that I wished for? I may never know.

You see, I am a repeat student and going back to school to repeat is a challenge. A great challenge, I must say. Not only have I had to face my teachers but the stares from other people and their stigmas. It takes a whole lot of courage and determination to come back. Of course, I have no friends back then. I felt I was all alone. It was as if I was the only one doing this and there was no one else to talk to. I tend to cry when I’m alone, usually recess time, when there was no one in class. I would sit at the back of the class and silently cry with sad music as a soundtrack plugged into my ears. Sometimes, tears would fall without warning.

Of course, people will ask me how the standard of O levels is like. For me, I just put a strong face, cleared my throat and say it with a smile. But now, I have a close friend in class, whom I can confide in, whom I can trust and most of all, who went through the same path as I do. And yes, I do have haters or maybe people who envy me. But the wound that injured us, repeat students, can never be healed. Not even through the years. Other students tend to insult us about how express students are not that smart that they used to think. Even teachers will insulting us about it, though there are others who cared about us. And I really appreciate that. Haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love. But this isn’t really the matter. What matters most, is your will and the determination to do what you’ve never done before and that you know, you can achieve it.

Just take a good look at yourself in the mirror, recall some of the failures you’ve been through and look at yourself again. Are you happy with what you’re achieved so far? If yes, good for you. If no, try again. Don’t ever be afraid to fail. Every failure is just a reminder for you, to do better than before. It doesn’t mean when you fail, you are a failure for life. No. Each and every one of you guys out there are talented, creative and smart in your own way. And no one can ever bring you down.

This is one lengthy post I've ever written. And yes, i listened to The Diary and Danger Line again.

its almost over?

2010-06-25T21:10:00.000+08:00

FRANCE WENT HOME. SO IS ITALY. I SAD. TONIGHT'S MATCH IS PORTUGAL VS BRAZIL AND SPAIN VS CHILE. YOU KNOW WHAT, SPAIN MUST WIN THIS FUCKING MATCH. IF SPAIN LOSE, THEY GO HOME. AND THAT MEANS, IM NOT WATCHING THE WORLD CUP ANYMORE.

ok i shall stop with the caps. anyways, my "1mth" of school holidays are coming to an end! OMGOMGOMGOMG! *panic* lol. actually, other kids are panicking. why? last min homeworks. hahaha but me? i have no idea what homeworks to even do. the moment i ask my classmate, he/she would say "need to do 10history mindmaps." and all i could say is, "i dont take history." and then, they will all bitch at me on how lucky i am by not taking history and taking lit instead, which to them, seems easier. honestly, its the same. i still need to analyze the poem/prose, understand the meaning behind it, look at the structure, words used and so on and so forth. (i can continue but im far too lazy right now) i mean, history students also need to analyze the sources given and what not. so what if you have to remember certain facts or dates, i have to remember the whole book im doing for the exams, like in detail. yeah, those details like emotions, happenings and everything else. at least, they have their hist class, in class, during lesson time (or school time. whatever you prefer.) unlike me, i have to stay back after school, on random days, at random places in school, just for lit. you lucky bastards. speaking of lit, i really wanna know whos gonna take us lit after term break. my favourite teacher ________________. (shall not say. i made a promise to her.)

sigh, earlier this week, i had maths camp. and i drank 4red bulls and a can of naughty g. and i ate crappy school food. doing prelim papers from other school was such a bore. and being high on sugar just releases the boring-ness in the room. 2days of staying in an air-conditioned room, from 0830-1700, doing papers is the same thing as going to hell and back. yup, it was torture. for a while, at least. somehow, i guess.

now, i have to spent my last 2days of holidays before school starts. i so dont want this. i was enjoying my vacation. lol. and hopefully, no new timetables. i really liked the current one. 4free periods on monday, 3free periods on tuesday and 1free period on friday.

i need to get my body clock sorted out. blame the world cup for screwing it.

spain? world cup?

2010-06-20T19:40:00.002+08:00

I SAD. DONT ASK WHY. THOSE OF YOU WATCHING THE WORLD CUP SHOULD KNOW WHY. THE UNDERDOGS ARE WINNING. THE TOP GUNS ARENT. IM PISSED AT SPAIN'S PERFORMANCE. SAME WITH FRANCE'S. ENGLAND? DEFINITELY. GERMANY? STUPID REF. GIVE KLOSE RED CARD JUST CAUSE HE TACKLED FROM BEHIND. THIS IS UNREASONABLE. WHY? SIGH. AUSTRALIA? THAT TEAM LOVES RED CARDS. AT LEAST THE NETHERLANDS DIDNT DISAPPOINT ME. THAT IM HAPPY. I THINK IM GONNA QUIT WATCHING THE WORLD CUP IF NONE OF MY FAVOURITE TEAMS MAKE IT TO THE QUARTER FINALS. IM STARTING TO LOSE INTEREST ALREADY.

thanks for reading. i apologize for the caps. im gonna burn my spain jersey now. kthxbai.

this post has nothing related to myself.

2010-06-16T19:04:00.000+08:00

IM BORED. AND WHEN IM BORED, I TEND TO READ. AND WHEN I READ, I GET TOO ENGROSSED IN THE STORY TILL IT CAPTIVATES ME. DONT ASK ME WHY. IT HAPPENS. AND NOW IM DONE READING, IM HIGH AS FUCK FOR NO REASON. I THINK MY ADRENAL GLANDS PRODUCE TOO MUCH ADRENALINE. I THINK MY ENDOCRINE GLANDS ISNT WORKING PROPERLY. I THINK I HAVE A WILD IMAGINATION. WAIT, NOT WILD. VIVID. YEAH, I HAVE A VIVID IMAGINATION. DONT ASK ME WHY IM TYPING IN CAPS. I JUST LIKE IT. KTHXBAI.

Are you a virgin?

2010-06-12T22:03:00.001+08:00

am i? hmm. i doubt i am. :D

Pretending that everything is right to make it better.

tell me something sweet to get me by.

haters gon hate.

i must be out of my mind.

chicken techno.

its open like a whore's vagina.

im tryna cut you wanna make love, make love.

oh yay! celebration time. =.=

saw 3? wait, its real.

now, thats deep.

its almost over?

spain? world cup?

this post has nothing related to myself.

Are you a virgin?

bored much?

Are You The Only Child?

describe me when i was 12. OMG, so gonna regret this. LOL

tell me 1 thing you hate about this world

cyber sex? AHAHHAHAHAHHAHA.

im proud of you.

whats good at macs? im starving

do u like drawing smiley faces on MSN? and why?

Sneakers or sandals?

If you could change one thing that happened last year what would it be?

Would you rather be really hot or really cold?

name someone you think who is adorable.

hey, hey! dont go!

are you high on ORG____?

you decide.

this may be the end.

What celebrity would play you in a movie about your life?

What was the worst movie you've ever seen?

I told you i would, bahahahaha.

Questions Answered What's the most delicious meal you've ever had? MACARONI WITH CHICKEN! im dying to have it right now. 2 weeks ago What kind of music can you just not stand to listen to? anything with Justin Bieber. sorry JBiebs fans, i just cant st

mountain dew?

have you had enough?

What's the most delicious meal you've ever had?

What kind of music can you just not stand to listen to?

What would be the best thing about being a vampire?

What and who pisses you off the most?

Do you have any scars on your body? If so, how'd you get them?

What household chore do hate to do the most?

What's the best place near you to get some ice cream?

If you were stranded on a desert island, which one person would you bring with you?

What was the last book you read?

you're beautiful.

Who inspires you the most?

japan? L.A pride? :)

it should have been 17-1.

Do you believe in luck?

If your house was on fire and you could only grab three things, what would they be?

Would you rather be a famous musician or a famous actor?

If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so you never had to do it again, what would it be?

Kutty! Where do you get tumblr themes? HEH, angus ftw! My kitty <3

you've crossed the line.

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el urgencia!

all hail, all hail!

wheres all my money?

fuck 'cute'. im sexy.

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gummy bear? o.0

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i really need to stop.

you sir! too, sir! welcome to the grave!

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our time is running out.

if looks could kill

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what? wtf did i just say?

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i cant do it alone.

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double?

cause tonight, im devastated.

i did it?

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butterflies.

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